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Something that I hear over and over from women is that they really were more confident when they we’re thinner, so how could they be confident in a bigger body?

Or women will tell me that they wonder how women in larger bodies are confident, like how are they so confident, I wish I could be that way?

Since we live in a world that praises people in smaller bodies and shames those in larger ones, I understand why we feel this way.

We believe that confidence is something we need to earn by being thin. That it’s some elusive thing that we only have access to in a smaller body.

But confidence is not some badge you earn the right to wear by checking off certain boxes like….

Nice clothes,

Hot bod,

Good grades,

Fancy handbag

Cool boyfriend

= confidence

That's not how this thing works. There are plenty of people in this world who have ALL of those things and still are not confident.

And that’s because confidence is a way of being, not something you earn the right to.

Like even if you are really mad at your partner, you can still BE loving towards them. Or you can be really angry at your child for making a mess and still BE kind towards them. You might not be rich, but you can still BE generous with people.

Just like you can BE confident no matter what you look like.

The problem is that our society has lead us to believe that we only have permission to BE confident if we are thin.

As a result, we only give ourselves permission to BE confident when our body looks a certain way.

And that is bullshit.

All you have to do is say F-it to society, and then give yourself permission to be confident right now in the body you have, and then choose to be that way.

Because you deserve it.

I know that is easier said then done, but here is what I mean:

Think about a confident version of yourself..., how would they act, what would that version of yourself do differently in life?

Would confident you....

Be more outgoing,

Raise your hand in class,

Ask for the raise or promotion,

Go out on more dates,

Enjoy more sex,

Take better care of yourself.

Give less fucks about what people think.

None of those things require a smaller body.

None of them require weight loss.

The problem is that you have been believing that you only have permission to BE confident and act that way if you are thin.

You have been believing you only have access to confidence when you are thinner.

And the beautiful thing about beliefs is that they can change. You can decide that you are going to start believing something else.

You can choose to stop believing that you need a small body to be confident and then give yourself permission to BE confident right now.

That is why there are plenty of women in all body types who are confident. They choose to BE that way.

A smaller body is only standing between you and confidence if you choose to let it.





I'm a certified health coach and I help people heal their relationship with food and their bodies. I am also the host of the Love Your Bod Pod, 

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